If I die

Fade until

what left is, is,
me

and fall apart.

Procrastination..

Of course the best way to start writing about procrastination was to put it off for a few weeks, so that’s what I did first ;-). When the procrastinating was done, I wrote quite a long and personal story about the main underlying problem behind my own procrastination, yet this was not the post I wanted to make, so I decided to rewrite that one some time in the future and start writing a new post about procrastination.

Now, what do I really want to write about procrastination?

I’ve been collecting tips and tricks, but I think a person can only comfortably apply one or two of those things at a time, so what I’ll do is choose the pointers that work best for me and give an explanation.

The first and foremost tip for me is to ask the question “Do I really want this?” I believe that when you truly want something, you will make it happen. A big part of choosing something, is choosing everything that comes with it. So for example for me choosing to study illustration at the pace set out for me, involves quite a bit of time to put in. This also means I’ll have less time to meet up with friends, and that I have to find a good way to manage my time so I won’t get in trouble. For me, realizing and accepting that these were also consequences of my choice, helped me to feel more at peace with them and with the choice itself.

I have to say that truly wanting something, is not always an easy task. It usually involves finding the thoughts/ ideas/ beliefs that conflict with what you think you want, and changing them. These conflicting ideas can be stored away somewhere on a dusty shelve in the back of your mind, sometimes even locked inside a closet, and it may take some time and work to figure out what they are. If you’re having a rough time with this, I suggest to find a therapy that suits you. I know someone who can advice you on that if you like.

For example: I noticed that my going to school (or actually going to any form of ‘obligation’) was blocked severely by my belief that going to school was a bad and unhappy experience. School and dread were linked in my mind. For me it took quite some self-reflection and help from a coach to figure out what this problem was, and to start changing this idea.

The next pointer that helpes me a lot is to set clear and achievable goals for yourself daily. I try to look at what I want to do that day in the morning after I wake up, or right before I start working on school. I set my goals by checking my agenda, seeing what needs to be done, and feeling what I would really like to do. You can estimate the amount of time each goal will take, to confirm you’re not making your day too busy. I personally try not to plan for more than 10 hours a day, this includes dance class or meeting up with friends, but this is not a rule of thumb: figure it out for yourself. :)

The last pointer for this post, is to be loving towards yourself. When you ended up procrastinating the entire day, or when you didn’t achieve all your goals, be gentle. Realize that this was just a ‘bad’ day and you’ll wake up tomorrow fresh and rejuvenated. One thing that really helps for me is to look at yourself as if you were another person. What if, for example, a friend of yours told you that they ended up procrastinating the entire day? How would you react? Would you judge them and hate them for failing, or would you be gentle and encourage them to feel good about themselves nonetheless? Try to see yourself as a friend and pick yourself up every now and then.

Rust, luchtigheid, jeugdherinneringen

Opdracht voor het schoolvak interactief
"Door een één op één gesprek met een klasgenoot probeer jij een 'probleem' te signaleren. Wat jij als 'probleem' bestempelt is aan jou. Vervolgens is het de bedoeling dat jij een oplossing verzint en die ook uitvoert. Hoe zorg jij ervoor dat dit probleem in de toekomst verholpen wordt? Hierbij is het vooral van belang dat jij leert om vanuit de ander (de doelgroep) te denken."
Tijdsduur: 2 weken (komt neer op 12 uur)

In het gesprek met mijn klasgenootje Lisa viel het op dat ze vaak een kleine gedachte veel groter kan maken in haar hoofd, dit maakt haar dan onrustig. Daarom kreeg ik het idee om iets te maken waar zij rustig van wordt.

Ik ben begonnen met informeren wat haar rustig maakt. Haar antwoorden waren alleen zijn, muziek luisteren die ze mooi vindt en naar iets moois kijken.

Toen ben ik onderzoek gaan doen naar wat Lisa mooi vindt. Daarvoor heb ik muziek geluisterd op haar facebookpagina, naar haar inspiratiebronnen, favoriete kleurcombinaties en stoffen gevraagd. Hieruit heb ik het volgende moodboard gemaakt:

:) click the image(s) to enlarge! 

Omdat het 'probleem' niet aan een plek gebonden is, wilde ik iets maken dat ze met zich mee kan nemen. Ik dacht even aan een doosje of een gek object. Toen kwam ik, mede door haar liefde voor mooie dingen, terecht op een sieraad. Ik ben gaan zoeken naar overeenkomsten tussen de smaak van Lisa en die van mij en kwam uit op wiskundige driedimensionale vormen, zoals de onderstaande drie:

hieronder mijn eigen schetsen:

Ik wil verder gaan met de schets linksonder (met de groenblauwe achtergrond).
Het idee voor dit sieraad is om de ribben van de dodecaëder te maken van iets zwarts en stevigs en er dan met wit elastiek omheen te weven, dit elastiek is dan gemakkelijk opzij te bewegen om iets in, of uit de binnenkant van het sieraad te halen. In het sieraad kan Lisa zelf iets stoppen waar ze rustig van wordt.

Een psycholoog vertelde me dat mensen vaak heel rustig worden van bepaalde jeugdherinneringen. Daarom wil ik iets in de ketting doen dat Lisa doet denken aan een prettig stukje van haar jeugd. Hiervoor zou ik een illustratie willen maken van een omgeving waar zij is opgegroeid en veel prettige herinneringen aan heeft.

Advies uit de les week 2:
- Ga nog even kijken naar de vorm van het sieraad, zou het niet prettiger zijn bijvoorbeeld om het aan een kant plat te maken, zodat er geen punt in haar lichaam prikt?
- Ook even uit gaan proberen hoe het zou werken met het elastiek, hoe gaat het er in het echt uitzien?

Mijn plannen voor komende week zijn:
- informeren naar materiaal, en hier testjes mee maken
- illustratie maken uit kindertijd
- het uiteindelijke ontwerp voor het sieraad maken en daar een goede tekening van maken
- korte presentatie maken

Too small to matter, too important to kill

This is research for a school assignment, the main theme is 'obstructions'. Each week the teachers hand us a new obstruction to work with. The two obstructions for this week are time (we have to make 5 images a day), and that it has to be 2D. I started researching my own obstructions. This is a selection of the work for two days and I I'm gonna get in trouble with my other subjects because I spent too much time on this one already.

Many thanks to Milou van Montfort, who modeled for me! She studies illustration as well, check out her website :-)

Productivity

I’ve been listening to the audio books “Conversations With God” by Neale Donald Walsch. Now, if you’re not interested in spirituality then I would not recommend them to you, but if you are interested in that sort of thing: it’s really nice listening (or reading) material and contains a ton of useful information which can be applied immediately in everyday life. There is also a movie about the guy and the way that he wrote the book, which is a nice introduction to the books themselves.

Today I decided to start creating myself as I’d ideally like me to be. This may sound rather strange and of course I don’t change into my ideal self in one day, but I applied this to one thing. I said to myself: “I am awesome and super productive and I am working on my artwork with enthusiasm today. Also I’ll be feeling great, clearheaded and focused while doing this.” This affirmation took some time to sink in, but at the moments that I really believed it, it worked amazingly. I had a lovely day, took a few breaks when I felt like it, practiced acrobatics in the park for an hour. But most importantly: I got so much work done today, and I’ve only spent about seven hours on it so far.

Maybe you remember me writing, a month back, that I was trying to deal with my habit of procrastination. Well, by now I have read some articles about procrastination and have asked people I know for bits of advice. Next week I’m hoping to write a blogpost containing the tips that work best for me.

Of course I really want to show you what I made today, so that’s what I’m gonna do. I am quite happy with the way these turned out. They’re school assignments by the way, so definitely not done for the real magazines. Also we didn’t have to perfect them entirely, the goal was to make some well worked out sketches.

This illustration wasn't made today, I just put it
on the cover today, so it was like 30 minutes
 of work, still I wanted to show it. :)

With love,
Marleen.

Plublication in Vooys magazine

A while ago I was asked to illustrate an article for Vooys magazine for literature. They asked me to first create a test illustration for an already published article. When this image was approved, they sent me the text that I could illustrate for real. This text turned out to be a strongly opiniated article against a certain book and its author (Harry Mulisch: "Twee Vrouwen"). The writer went against two women (also writers) who've been praising this book and its author. One point of the author of the article was that all this phallocentrism (by Mulisch) shouln't be tolerated. I thought this was a nice place to start sketching from. The image was published in may 2011.

sketch 1

sketch 2

cover (image by Luc Princen)

spread

 

test-illustration

Revisiting my moleskine book

I remembered my beautiful moleskine book, in which I've been sketching every now and then from somewhere around 2007 till now. I think I'm only 40 pages in so far, I've taken some pictures of the highlights:

With love,
Marleen.